love ya.lyn: Finance

Showing posts with label Finance. Show all posts

5.16.2014

Taxes

Tax his land, tax his bed,
Tax the table at which he's fed.

Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes are the rule.

Tax his work, tax his pay,
He works for peanuts anyway!

Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.

Tax his ties, tax his shirt,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his cigars, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears.

Tax his car, tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has, then let him know
That you won't be done till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers, then tax him some more,
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
'Taxes drove me to my doom."

When he's gone, do not relax,
It's time to apply the inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Sales Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was

the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national

debt, had the largest middle class in the world,

and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the heck happened?

Can you spell

P•O•L•I•T•I•C•I•A•N

5.09.2014

Educated

When Shaquille O'neal was drafted into the NBA, he spent the first million that he earned within 30 minutes. O'neal then received a phone call from his banker, who scolded him, and told him that he would end up joining the list of former athletes who ended up broke if the current trend continued.
O'neal decided to sharpen up his education on business and finance. He returned to college, completing his Bachelor's degree, followed by his M.B.A, and lastly, his Ed.D. That's right, he is now Dr. Shaquille O'neal.

As of today, Shaq is the joint owner of 155 Five Guys Burgers restaurants, 17 Auntie Annie's Pretzels restaurants, 150 car washes, 40 24-hour fitness centers, a shopping center, a movie theater, and several Las Vegas nightclubs.

In addition to his business holdings, O'neal still earns $22 million per year (roughly $423,000 per week) from his endorsement deals with Arizona Creme soda, Icy Hot, Gold Bond, Buick, Zales, and at least a half dozen additional corporate sponsors. He is also a studio analyst for TNT.

In Shaq's own words, "It is not about how much money you make. The question is are you educated enough to KEEP it."

1.22.2011

Caught in the Act

An ATM in central London brought new meaning to cash withdrawals after queuing commuters were surprised to see a hand inside the machine. Customers thought the ATM was being robbed, but were assured that the cash machine was being fixed by an engineer.

11.26.2010

Say "Bah, Humbug!" to Holiday Debt

Ah, the holiday season! Turkey and dressing, pumpkin pie, office parties, jingle bells, and lots and lots of eggnog make the season a delight. But all fun and reindeer games aside, you have to be careful to make sure you don't wind up as poor as Tiny Tim!

Americans can easily spend as much as $1,000 a year on gifts for family, friends, and business associates. That is a big chunk of money that can hit you pretty hard come January if you don't plan ahead. There are some tips and tricks you can do to keep your holidays bright and debt-free this year.

Before the holidays arrive, do some careful plotting and planning for family and business expenses. A few hours spent in preparation can mean less money spent on gifts. You don't have to be Scrooge, you just have to be smart.

1. Decide how much you are willing to spend, and stick to it. Pretend you are spending cash. How much can you afford out of pocket this month? If you cannot afford it right now, consider that you cannot afford it at all.

2. Budget non-gift and after-Christmas items too. Remember to include other things you buy over the holidays: cards, stamps, candles, a tree, decorations, and food galore. Plus, plan ahead to save some money for next year by taking advantage of after-Christmas sales. It is all part of your holiday spending, so plan for it in your holiday budget.

3. Make a list of everyone you will be buying gifts for, and estimate how much you want to spend on each person. Include the smaller gifts for teachers or your mailman. Include the price of cards and stamps, because Christmas cards count as gifts when it comes to your budget. Then, add it up and compare the total to your budgeted amount. Make the necessary adjustments. Your brother-in-law may only get socks this year.

4. Cut down your list. This may sound harsh, but look closely at who you are buying gifts for. When saving money is an issue, it is okay not to give gifts to everyone you know. Send only cards to distant relatives, neighbors you don't know well, and business owners who haven't bought from you this year.

5. Be creative. Determine if some people would be happy to receive some home-baked cookies. Remember, the holidays aren't about presents, but about good will towards man. Good will comes in many forms and does not always need wrapping paper. If you have a skill or a hobby, use it: needlework, knitting, art, poetry, etc. Make a photo album, or offer to plant their garden. Use discount coupons for your customers.

6. Carry your shopping list with you. Take every opportunity to shop. Start early and try to get things before the rush, before highly sought, hard-to-find items go up in price, and before you can't find what you need. This gives you a chance to comparison shop. It also takes away some of the stress and reduces your risk of overspending just for the sake of finishing your shopping.

7. If a store offers free gift-wrap, go for it! It'll save you time and money on buying wrapping paper, tape, bows, and cards and struggling with it all yourself.

8. Exercise willpower. Stick to your estimates and you won't go over budget. Budgets are blown on those items that are "perfect" besides being $10 too much. Ebay is a wonderful shopping tool if you remember to start early enough to account for shipping time. Find the right item, bid your budget price, and leave it. If someone outbids you, don't get into a bidding war, just bid on something else within your price range.

9. Increase your income for the season. During the holidays there are lots of ways to make a little extra money. Many stores hire part-time workers for the holidays. Since it is a party season, babysitting is in high demand. Be imaginative. You could be the Official Gift Wrapper in your neighborhood who wraps gifts for friends and neighbors for a small fee.

10. Use your credit cards. Yes! If you stick to your budget and only spend what you are able to pay for in the next thirty days, then yes, you can use credit cards. The key is to use them as you would cash. Using your credit card is not a way to buy things you can't afford, it is a way to organize your spending and possibly get some rewards and discounts along the way.

11. Use specialized credit cards, but carefully. Many of the stores where you will be buying your holiday gifts offer their own credit cards, but they tend to have ridiculously high interest rates. However, they may give you discounts of 10 percent, 15 percent, sometimes even 20 percent! So, you could actually go ahead and use a store credit card to make the purchases and get the discounts, since you are paying these off when the bill comes (so the interest rates should not be a problem). If you do get into a pinch and can't pay them off right away, then transfer your balance to your lower-rate credit card before any interest is added to the higher-rate one. You need to be on the ball with this trick, but it can save you money.

It is important to keep in mind, however, that every new credit card you apply for will lower your credit score. So if you're saving up for a mortgage or a large loan, you'll want to avoid applying for additional credit.

Come the start of January, your main concern is going to be getting ready for the new year, and you won't want post-holiday money troubles making things worse. The Ghost of Christmas Past starts visiting even before you put the tree in the trash. Be sure to have a Happy New Year by being money-wise in advance.

Michael G. Peterson is a co-founder of American Credit Foundation, a non-profit credit counseling organization. Visit debtguru.com for more information and financial resources.

1.21.2010

Separate Checks

When paying extra on a car note or mortgage payment, it's a good idea to write two separate checks.

You can include the extra check in a separate envelope with the regular payment, but make sure you write "principle only" in big, bold letters on the envelope and on the check. Also, include the account number in the notation line at the bottom of the check.

Some companies use payment booklets that have a box specifically for entering any amount you want applied directly to the principle. This method is okay, too. Just make sure you keep a good, solid record of the monthly and overall amount you've designated to be applied only to the principle.

Follow these guidelines and you'll be much less likely to run into a sticky situation because some bozo threw the check into an escrow account or chalked it up as a pre-paid payment!