Things Our Mothers Taught Us

Our mothers taught us
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside,
I just finished cleaning."

Our mothers taught us
RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

Our mothers taught us about
TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

Our mothers taught us
LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

Our mothers taught us
MORE LOGIC:
If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."

Our mothers taught us
FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

Our mothers taught us
IRONY:
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

Our mothers taught us about the science of
OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

Our mothers taught us about
CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?"

Our mothers taught us about
STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

Our mothers taught us about
WEATHER:
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

Our mothers taught us about
ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until we get home."

Our mothers taught us about
RECEIVING:
"You are going to get it when we get home."

Our mothers taught us
MEDICAL SCIENCE:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes,
they are going to stick that way."

Our mothers taught us
ESP:
"Put your sweater on,
don't you think I know when you are cold?"

Our mothers taught us
HUMOR:
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."

Our mothers taught us
HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables,
you'll never grow up."

Our mothers taught us
GENETICS:
"You're just like your father."

Our mothers taught us about our
ROOTS:
"Shut the door behind you.
Do you think you were born in a barn?"

Our mothers taught us
WISDOM:
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

Our mothers taught us about
JUSTICE:
"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!"