Choir Notes

The Warm Embers of Love
From Music and the Spoken Word
Delivered By: Lloyd D. Newell • Program 4366

Most marriages start out like a glowing fire, full of warmth and light. But anyone who has been married for very long knows that keeping a marriage burning strong and healthy takes effort and commitment. Like a fire, love needs constant attention and nurturing through words and acts of affection and selflessness.
There are as many ways to strengthen a marriage as there are married couples—the key is to find what works for you. One couple found that a daily walk gave them opportunity to talk, share feelings, and stay close. Another couple leaves little notes for each other every day. Usually it’s just a line or two, but it helps them remember why and how they love each other. Another couple hangs play tickets or other reminders of their upcoming dates where they both can see them. All week long, they look forward to the time they will share together, just the two of them.
You’re never done strengthening your marriage. A lifetime of daily choices, large and small, are needed to fuel the embers of loyalty and love. "Support your [spouse’s] values, goals and dreams, and greet his or her good news with interest and delight,” says one expert. She suggests that even a fire that seems to have gone out can be rekindled with intentional caring, compassion, and companionship. "A marriage that has been marred by negative, angry or hurtful remarks can often be rescued by filling the home with words and actions that elicit positive emotions.”1
It need not be any more complicated than asking ourselves each day, "What can I do for a few minutes today to make my sweetheart’s life better?” Simple actions, like sincerely listening, helping out, sharing an amusing event, smiling, or being good-humored, can rekindle the embers of love. In this way we live by the homespun wisdom of the familiar counsel "Choose your love; love your choice.”
1 Jane E. Brody, "That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work,” New York Times, Jan. 14, 2013, http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/01/14/that-loving-feeling-takes-a-lot-of-work.

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