There are several basic steps that can be used in the limit-setting process. The key factors in limit-setting are the understanding of the child's intention and motivation. Limit-setting works better when the adult acknowledges the child's feelings, wishes and wants, communicates the limits clearly, and targets acceptable behavior.
A - Acknowledge the child’s feelings, wishes and wants.
C - Communicate the limit in terms of safety
T - Target acceptable behavior
Examples:
“You wanted to give me a big hug. It’s hard for me to breathe when you squeeze my neck so hard. If you want to give me a big hug, do it gently like this (demonstrate).”
“It seems to me like you feel sad today. It’s not safe for you to run away from me in the store. If you want to have some quiet time, you may sit in the cart.”
“You seem angry. You may not push, pushing hurts. You can use your words to say, ‘I’m mad at you’ or you can go to the 'Safe Place.'”
via: Conscious Discipline
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