Ugly Christmas Sweaters

Alligator Shoes

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blond declared, "Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!!"

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, " Well, little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?" The blond headed off to the swamp determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the the murky water, shotgun in hand.

As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge nine-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blond took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were seven more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in amazement as the blond struggled mightily and barely managed to flip the gator onto its back.

Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration... "&$*@#! This one is barefoot, too!"

Baby Neck Warmer

POLARN O. PYRET
has great clothes for children of all ages...

Taxi

My daughter is in New York.
She should have these mittens...

Brief Encounter

I see London, I see France...


I see someone's underpants.
(@ Gardendale, Alabama WalMart)

Odoriferous Shoes

Spray the insides of smelly shoes (gym shoes, sandals, dress shoes, flip flops, dance shoes, boots, etc.) with a disinfectant spray, like Lysol, and then let them dry before wearing. It will kill the germs that are causing the smell…