Wishing You Well

 

You know you did it! Just admit it!

My little one has started to lie. I know she’s drawing on the walls and furniture but she’s refusing to admit it. What can I do?

You have a choice! 

1. You can focus on getting your child to admit her error and feel bad for her actions.

OR

2. You can focus on helping your child learn to be responsible by experiencing the consequences of her actions.

Choice 1 (Admission of Guilt) may go like this: 

"Did you draw on the wall?” Asking a question you already know the answer to is a trap. More than likely, preschoolers will deny they did anything. Denial is a defense mechanism used when faced with fear of threat. Once the child denies the situation, then we really become upset, usually saying something like, “Don’t you lie to me. Lying just makes things worse.” From here the interaction can only deteriorate and the opportunity to teach a new skill is lost.

Choice 2 (Limit Setting & Accountability) may go like this: 

"You wanted to draw some pictures. You may not draw on the walls. Drawing is something you do on paper. You can clean the walls with rag or sponge. What is your choice?” It is important to follow up with your child later when she is drawing on paper by saying, “You did it! You remembered to draw on the paper. Good for you, honey.” Then hug and kiss her all over.